Noah... I love you. I love your readiness to learn. I love that you love your baby brother like crazy. I love your pinboard in your room where you pin everything special to you. I love that you never want to play in your room so you can keep it cleaner. I love that you look like me. I love those big brown eyes! I love your sincerity. I love that, sometimes, you still let me snuggle you. I love that you plan. I love that your favorite song is still "Rudolph" even though its February.
Emma... I love you. I love your craziness! I love that lately you started calling everyone a 'funny gooser.' I love your dancing. I love that you can't get enough of "Moves like Jaggar." I love your smile. Sometimes I love it when you wake me up in the middle of the night for no reason at all, except to say, "Mom, I wuv you." I love that you love your hair and that you are upset that I cut mine. I love you because you are you. And nobody else. Because, sister, you are something else!
Zane... I love you. I love how sweet, sweet, sweet you are. I love you because you wake up with a smile. I love your chubby thighs and your blue eyes. I love that you sleep six hours a night. I love your intense desire to move! You are ready for the world! I love that you are trying to roll. I love that you want to sit up and watch your brother and sister all the time. I love your snuggles.
Luke... I love you. I love that you are passionate. I love that you love your job. I love that you take care of our family. I love that you are strong. I love that you sing to the kids and make up silly songs for them. I love that you love your hobbies... painting, taxidermy, hunting. I love that you laugh at my jokes. I love that you are patient with me most of the time. I love that you let me be me. I love your blue eyes. I love that Zaner looks just like you. I love that you are my best friend. I love that you love our kids like crazy. 'Cause I love you like crazy.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Monday, February 06, 2012
just a few notes on my kids... i love 'em and they are growing up too fast.
Zane grabbed his toes on Thursday night. Don't know why this is a moment, but it is. He is almost rolling over! He is such a happy and content baby. Happy and happy. He is half giggling! And slept eight hours last night making him my favorite child o' the day. He loves company and hates being left out of anything. In the morning, when I have to go to work, I wake him up, change his bum and get ready to feed him. He just lays on the changing table, stretches his arms up, opens his eyes and then he smiles the sweetest smile. He melts my heart.
Emma, oh Emma! She is a study in contradiction lately. She is so bouncy and flashy at home. I guess flashy might not be the right word, but I can't think of the right word. She is loud, she likes to be heard, she loves to dance and sing. Until you leave home. Then, she is quiet and reserved and all things that Emma is not. Thursday, my friend Darlene picked Emma up for "bring a friend to preschool" day with Andi, and brought her home 30 minutes later. Why didn't Emma want to stay, "Because, I was being shy!" At dance class, she dances her little heart out exactly the way she is supposed to, but when they have "free dance" she stands there not knowing how to break the mold. And insists on holding the teachers hand when they aren't dancing. I told her she didn't need to do this and she said, "I'm her friend. She needs me." Such a big, dramatic heart.
Noah has become somewhat of a planner. He has planned out his life and I fear, oh how I fear! how disappointed he might be if it doesn't turn out how he tells me it will. And his plans are so specific and detailed. (Brittany, if you happen to stumble upon my blog, please don't be alarmed). There is a sweet and gorgeous little girl in our ward/neighborhood/Noah's school that Noah has decided to marry. Her name is Dylan. He is not forward or kissy or lovey-dovey... yet. He is... matter of fact... decided to marry her. He has planned out their life. He tells me bit by bit as it is planned and the timeline goes a little something like this...
Zane grabbed his toes on Thursday night. Don't know why this is a moment, but it is. He is almost rolling over! He is such a happy and content baby. Happy and happy. He is half giggling! And slept eight hours last night making him my favorite child o' the day. He loves company and hates being left out of anything. In the morning, when I have to go to work, I wake him up, change his bum and get ready to feed him. He just lays on the changing table, stretches his arms up, opens his eyes and then he smiles the sweetest smile. He melts my heart.
Emma, oh Emma! She is a study in contradiction lately. She is so bouncy and flashy at home. I guess flashy might not be the right word, but I can't think of the right word. She is loud, she likes to be heard, she loves to dance and sing. Until you leave home. Then, she is quiet and reserved and all things that Emma is not. Thursday, my friend Darlene picked Emma up for "bring a friend to preschool" day with Andi, and brought her home 30 minutes later. Why didn't Emma want to stay, "Because, I was being shy!" At dance class, she dances her little heart out exactly the way she is supposed to, but when they have "free dance" she stands there not knowing how to break the mold. And insists on holding the teachers hand when they aren't dancing. I told her she didn't need to do this and she said, "I'm her friend. She needs me." Such a big, dramatic heart.
Noah has become somewhat of a planner. He has planned out his life and I fear, oh how I fear! how disappointed he might be if it doesn't turn out how he tells me it will. And his plans are so specific and detailed. (Brittany, if you happen to stumble upon my blog, please don't be alarmed). There is a sweet and gorgeous little girl in our ward/neighborhood/Noah's school that Noah has decided to marry. Her name is Dylan. He is not forward or kissy or lovey-dovey... yet. He is... matter of fact... decided to marry her. He has planned out their life. He tells me bit by bit as it is planned and the timeline goes a little something like this...
- Noah and Dylan will get married in the Bountiful Temple
- They will live in Zach and Melanie's old apartment on 1200 S. in Bountiful
- Noah will be a police officer and a teacher. Sometimes, he wants to be a Costco 'cooker' as well. Basically, he wants to pass out food in a hair net.
- Noah will work for Centerville being a police officer.
- Dylan will stay home with the kids and bring Noah his lunch while he is at work.
- Noah and Dylan will have 4 or 5 kids.
- He will buy Jelly Belly beans at Costco. And he will share them with his kids.
- They will move to Silver Creek someday
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
January is flying by, but it seems Christmas was so long ago! We are super busy lately, as I have been working part time and now full time for a couple more weeks. Little temp jobs here and there help me keep my sanity and my family seems all the more appreciative of me when I get home :).
A few updates... One more week until I lock the blog for privacy. Please let me know if you want to be included.
My mother-in-law, Michelle, has started a blog with her sister, Robyn, to document her journey through chemotherapy at the Huntsman Cancer Institute. Michelle was diagnosed with MDS Leukemia in November. We are praying for her and love her so much. Her blog can be found here.
A few updates... One more week until I lock the blog for privacy. Please let me know if you want to be included.
My mother-in-law, Michelle, has started a blog with her sister, Robyn, to document her journey through chemotherapy at the Huntsman Cancer Institute. Michelle was diagnosed with MDS Leukemia in November. We are praying for her and love her so much. Her blog can be found here.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Goodbye 2011
Disclaimer: On the day we blessed Zane, December 11, Luke teased me that I needed to share my testimony in the obligatory, "mother of the child being blessed" way. It didn't happen as I am afraid of microphones and Zane was hungry. No worries, as it was a fabulous meeting and very much themed around the Great Wind of 2011 as I like to call it. Anywho... my teary testimony is what this has turned out to be. You were warned.
The first day of the new year is now over and I can't believe that another has come and gone. So much has happened to us this last year and it is hard to believe how quickly it all happened. I have spent some time reflecting over the past year and I have so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to.
We have had such an amazing Christmas season and the highlight was definitely Christmas Eve with my in-laws. Michelle asked us to take turns sharing what the best gift that Christ gave us this year was. I knew immediately what my gifts were and couldn't keep my composure and started crying right away. Here is the extended version of what I shared with my family that night.
This is very near, dear and spiritual to me and it has taken me a....year... to be willing to share with the entire world wide web.
I spent the bulk of 2010 in prayer wondering why we were struggling with Luke finding the right job, in the right place and why wasn't this the right time? My prayers were answered, rather cryptically, it felt. The answer always came to trust in the Lord's plan and things will work out as it is intended. Well, that pretty much meant nothing to me so I prayed further to understand what exactly the Lord's plan was. My answer to those prayers and meditation in the temple came as a little spirit telling me that it was his time to join our family. I told the Lord that it wasn't possible! We didn't have a job, let alone the money for another baby! But, the answer was persistent.
Now here is where it gets personal and if you don't know me really well, you might think me a bit of a loon. That little spirit that kept telling me that it was time to join our family visited me. We didn't speak or anything, don't worry. But I could sense his presence and knew he was waiting for us. He came to me and sat near me and just let me know that he was there, who he was and waited for me to acknowledge him. It is hard to explain what this experience was really like and I am happy to elaborate in person. Just ask.
Then, each time we went to the temple I would have the overwhelming nagging feeling that I was knowingly not doing what the Lord was asking of me. I was not following the guidance to trust in the Lord and increase our family. Not good feelings, right? But how could I tell my unemployed husband, "Hey, I want to have another baby. You in?" Not a conversation I wanted to start.
November came and with that, Zach and Melanie's wedding. They will never truly understand the full impact of their temple ceremony on not just me, but probably ever other person in that room. After that sealing, I couldn't deny the Spirit any longer. I sought comfort and advice from my dear cousin and friend Kelly and she gave me the strength I needed to tell Luke what I had been feeling. And so I did. And his response was, "I know. I have been feeling the same way for a couple months but how is it possible?" Wha....? Not what I expected AT ALL! I was so overwhelmed with joy and now FEAR as we were accepting the assignment from our Heavenly Father to have that little spirit that had been bugging me (for over a year) join our family.
Now here is our miracle. We decided to go ahead and try to get pregnant and we did, rather quickly. But first, within 2 weeks of making the decision officially official, Luke received 4 job offers. Four! Centerville was the best choice at the most pay and the best part is that we didn't have to move and it is a small department with lots of growth potential so it all made sense.
And so began 2011 with all its twists and turns. Obviously, I got pregnant right away. Luke started working like crazy and life as we knew it changed. We moved in August and I can't believe the luck we had in being able to stay in our ward, on our street, with good friends and family so close. The highlight of our year was our little spirit who could not wait any longer to join our family. Our little Zane Christopher was born in October. Its strange to me still, but miraculous that his spirit is so familiar to me and I feel like I know him so well. He is a mover and a shaker, always has been, even when I was pregnant. He just can't wait to get going! I always tell him I know he has an important job in this life and that is why he couldn't wait any longer to get here and why he can't hold still. I don't know what it is, but I know he will do great things.
And for those who were wondering, Zane means God is gracious. And Christopher is not only a Merkley family name but means bearer of Christ. Fitting, no?
I truly have a testimony that the Lord will answer our prayers. We cannot forget the importance of heeding the promptings that we hear. We are continually being prompted and guided if we will just stay in tune with the Spirit. Guidance from the Spirit is not always life changing or earth moving. It comes daily, if we let it. We will see the hand of God in our lives if we know how to recognize it.
I read a sticky note at a house I used to clean that said,
We have had such an amazing Christmas season and the highlight was definitely Christmas Eve with my in-laws. Michelle asked us to take turns sharing what the best gift that Christ gave us this year was. I knew immediately what my gifts were and couldn't keep my composure and started crying right away. Here is the extended version of what I shared with my family that night.
This is very near, dear and spiritual to me and it has taken me a....year... to be willing to share with the entire world wide web.
I spent the bulk of 2010 in prayer wondering why we were struggling with Luke finding the right job, in the right place and why wasn't this the right time? My prayers were answered, rather cryptically, it felt. The answer always came to trust in the Lord's plan and things will work out as it is intended. Well, that pretty much meant nothing to me so I prayed further to understand what exactly the Lord's plan was. My answer to those prayers and meditation in the temple came as a little spirit telling me that it was his time to join our family. I told the Lord that it wasn't possible! We didn't have a job, let alone the money for another baby! But, the answer was persistent.
Now here is where it gets personal and if you don't know me really well, you might think me a bit of a loon. That little spirit that kept telling me that it was time to join our family visited me. We didn't speak or anything, don't worry. But I could sense his presence and knew he was waiting for us. He came to me and sat near me and just let me know that he was there, who he was and waited for me to acknowledge him. It is hard to explain what this experience was really like and I am happy to elaborate in person. Just ask.
Then, each time we went to the temple I would have the overwhelming nagging feeling that I was knowingly not doing what the Lord was asking of me. I was not following the guidance to trust in the Lord and increase our family. Not good feelings, right? But how could I tell my unemployed husband, "Hey, I want to have another baby. You in?" Not a conversation I wanted to start.
November came and with that, Zach and Melanie's wedding. They will never truly understand the full impact of their temple ceremony on not just me, but probably ever other person in that room. After that sealing, I couldn't deny the Spirit any longer. I sought comfort and advice from my dear cousin and friend Kelly and she gave me the strength I needed to tell Luke what I had been feeling. And so I did. And his response was, "I know. I have been feeling the same way for a couple months but how is it possible?" Wha....? Not what I expected AT ALL! I was so overwhelmed with joy and now FEAR as we were accepting the assignment from our Heavenly Father to have that little spirit that had been bugging me (for over a year) join our family.
Now here is our miracle. We decided to go ahead and try to get pregnant and we did, rather quickly. But first, within 2 weeks of making the decision officially official, Luke received 4 job offers. Four! Centerville was the best choice at the most pay and the best part is that we didn't have to move and it is a small department with lots of growth potential so it all made sense.
And so began 2011 with all its twists and turns. Obviously, I got pregnant right away. Luke started working like crazy and life as we knew it changed. We moved in August and I can't believe the luck we had in being able to stay in our ward, on our street, with good friends and family so close. The highlight of our year was our little spirit who could not wait any longer to join our family. Our little Zane Christopher was born in October. Its strange to me still, but miraculous that his spirit is so familiar to me and I feel like I know him so well. He is a mover and a shaker, always has been, even when I was pregnant. He just can't wait to get going! I always tell him I know he has an important job in this life and that is why he couldn't wait any longer to get here and why he can't hold still. I don't know what it is, but I know he will do great things.
And for those who were wondering, Zane means God is gracious. And Christopher is not only a Merkley family name but means bearer of Christ. Fitting, no?
I truly have a testimony that the Lord will answer our prayers. We cannot forget the importance of heeding the promptings that we hear. We are continually being prompted and guided if we will just stay in tune with the Spirit. Guidance from the Spirit is not always life changing or earth moving. It comes daily, if we let it. We will see the hand of God in our lives if we know how to recognize it.
I read a sticky note at a house I used to clean that said,
How have I seen the hand of God reach out and touch me or my family today?
Did God send a message that was just for me?
What can I do to preserve that memory for the day I need to remember
how much God loves me and how much I need him?
At the start of this new year, may you recognize the hand of God in your life and remember how much he loves you and yours. I know we are loved as I cannot deny his hand and love in my life this past year. Merry Christmas to you and a joyous, happy new year.
Privacy Please!
Privacy has become a real issue in our house as I never get any! So, I am getting privacy where I can, MY BLOG! I have debated over the last couple of weeks wanting to share more personal, more journal type entries to my blog and have decided to put a privacy block on our blog. Please email me or comment on this post if you would like to be included. Thanks for understanding and hope you will continue reading.
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