Goodbye 2011

Disclaimer: On the day we blessed Zane, December 11, Luke teased me that I needed to share my testimony in the obligatory, "mother of the child being blessed" way. It didn't happen as I am afraid of microphones and Zane was hungry. No worries, as it was a fabulous meeting and very much themed around the Great Wind of 2011 as I like to call it. Anywho... my teary testimony is what this has turned out to be. You were warned.

The first day of the new year is now over and I can't believe that another has come and gone. So much has happened to us this last year and it is hard to believe how quickly it all happened. I have spent some time reflecting over the past year and I have so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to.

We have had such an amazing Christmas season and the highlight was definitely Christmas Eve with my in-laws. Michelle asked us to take turns sharing what the best gift that Christ gave us this year was. I knew immediately what my gifts were and couldn't keep my composure and started crying right away. Here is the extended version of what I shared with my family that night.

This is very near, dear and spiritual to me and it has taken me a....year... to be willing to share with the entire world wide web.

I spent the bulk of 2010 in prayer wondering why we were struggling with Luke finding the right job, in the right place and why wasn't this the right time? My prayers were answered, rather cryptically, it felt. The answer always came to trust in the Lord's plan and things will work out as it is intended. Well, that pretty much meant nothing to me so I prayed further to understand what exactly the Lord's plan was. My answer to those prayers and meditation in the temple came as a little spirit telling me that it was his time to join our family. I told the Lord that it wasn't possible! We didn't have a job, let alone the money for another baby! But, the answer was persistent.

Now here is where it gets personal and if you don't know me really well, you might think me a bit of a loon. That little spirit that kept telling me that it was time to join our family visited me. We didn't speak or anything, don't worry. But I could sense his presence and knew he was waiting for us. He came to me and sat near me and just let me know that he was there, who he was and waited for me to acknowledge him. It is hard to explain what this experience was really like and I am happy to elaborate in person. Just ask.

Then, each time we went to the temple I would have the overwhelming nagging feeling that I was knowingly not doing what the Lord was asking of me. I was not following the guidance to trust in the Lord and increase our family. Not good feelings, right? But how could I tell my unemployed husband, "Hey, I want to have another baby. You in?" Not a conversation I wanted to start.

November came and with that, Zach and Melanie's wedding. They will never truly understand the full impact of their temple ceremony on not just me, but probably ever other person in that room. After that sealing, I couldn't deny the Spirit any longer. I sought comfort and advice from my dear cousin and friend Kelly and she gave me the strength I needed to tell Luke what I had been feeling. And so I did. And his response was, "I know. I have been feeling the same way for a couple months but how is it possible?" Wha....? Not what I expected AT ALL! I was so overwhelmed with joy and now FEAR as we were accepting the assignment from our Heavenly Father to have that little spirit that had been bugging me (for over a year) join our family.

Now here is our miracle. We decided to go ahead and try to get pregnant and we did, rather quickly. But first, within 2 weeks of making the decision officially official, Luke received 4 job offers. Four! Centerville was the best choice at the most pay and the best part is that we didn't have to move and it is a small department with lots of growth potential so it all made sense.

And so began 2011 with all its twists and turns. Obviously, I got pregnant right away. Luke started working like crazy and life as we knew it changed. We moved in August and I can't believe the luck we had in being able to stay in our ward, on our street, with good friends and family so close. The highlight of our year was our little spirit who could not wait any longer to join our family. Our little Zane Christopher was born in October. Its strange to me still, but miraculous that his spirit is so familiar to me and I feel like I know him so well. He is a mover and a shaker, always has been, even when I was pregnant. He just can't wait to get going! I always tell him I know he has an important job in this life and that is why he couldn't wait any longer to get here and why he can't hold still. I don't know what it is, but I know he will do great things.

And for those who were wondering, Zane means God is gracious. And Christopher is not only a Merkley family name but means bearer of Christ. Fitting, no?

I truly have a testimony that the Lord will answer our prayers. We cannot forget the importance of heeding the promptings that we hear. We are continually being prompted and guided if we will just stay in tune with the Spirit. Guidance from the Spirit is not always life changing or earth moving. It comes daily, if we let it. We will see the hand of God in our lives if we know how to recognize it.

I read a sticky note at a house I used to clean that said,

How have I seen the hand of God reach out and touch me or my family today?

Did God send a message that was just for me?

What can I do to preserve that memory for the day I need to remember

how much God loves me and how much I need him?

At the start of this new year, may you recognize the hand of God in your life and remember how much he loves you and yours. I know we are loved as I cannot deny his hand and love in my life this past year. Merry Christmas to you and a joyous, happy new year.

Privacy Please!

Privacy has become a real issue in our house as I never get any! So, I am getting privacy where I can, MY BLOG! I have debated over the last couple of weeks wanting to share more personal, more journal type entries to my blog and have decided to put a privacy block on our blog. Please email me or comment on this post if you would like to be included. Thanks for understanding and hope you will continue reading.

Zane

Zane Christopher Merkley

10/18/11 at 11:38 am

9 lbs 1 oz

21.5 inches

We are so happy that our little boy is here!  Zane is already such a good baby. He is content most of the time and hardly makes a fuss. Noah is so excited to have a little brother and is already planning on teaching him to play soccer, climb trees, and go hunting. Emma isn't sold on him yet. She likes to help, but doesn't want mom or her grandmothers to hold him. She'll get the hang of it, we hope!

 Our Family Picture

Another one bites the dust!

So I've been trying to get my dad onto a critter to shoot with his bow. Animals finally started coming into my "honey hole". I went up last night, 10/14/2011, to try to shoot an elk. I went into my spot at about 1:00 pm and sat until about 7:00. Didn't even see a critter at all. Dad called me at about 5:00 and told me that he had made it up and would be coming in to where I was sitting. I had seen deer on the trail that he would be taking and was hoping that he would spot them and get a shot. There had been four decent bucks in the area and knew it was just a matter of time before I or my dad would fill a deer tag. Well, my dad finally came into where I was sitting and I was happy to see him. I met him not far from where I was sitting and asked if he had seen any animals. He stated that he hadn't seen anything and I could tell he was a little bummed. We started the hike back to the truck since it would soon be dark. The whole way back my dad and I were talking and shooting the bull, not really thinking we would see anything. Just at legal shooting light and about 50 yrds from the truck Dad stopped on the trail and peered out into the bushes. I asked what he was looking at and after a short while said "nothing". He started walking toward the truck and I looked to see what my dad was looking at. As I looked I saw a decent little 4x4 buck looking right at us. I told Dad that there was a deer there and told him to hold still and not to move. I thought the deer was going to take off. I ranged the buck and found him to be 52 yrds. The buck was broad side and provided a great shot. I knocked an arrow and let one fly.


Instantly I heard the "thunk" like I had just punch the chest cavity. The "thunk" was a definate hit sound and I knew my arrow had found it's mark. I nudged my dad and gave him the "how about that luck" kind of look. The arrow looked to be a perfect shot.

We waited about 5 min before going and looking to see if there was blood where he was standing. It was getting dark quick and I knew we had little time to find the buck. We found were he was standing but didn't find an arrow or blood. We continued to search around the area and about 50 yrds from where the buck was hit, I bumped him. It seemed as if he was not feeling well and bedded down. He jumped up real quick and took of like a bolt. It was too dark by this point and I could hear him run. It didn't sound natural. I could tell he was sick. We could hear the buck running off into the bushes then stop. I found a puddle of blood where he was beded and where I had bumped him. We decided to back out and come back in the morning.

After a sleepless night, morning finally came. I picked up my dad and we headed to my "hole". I went straight to were he was bedded the previous night and started searching. There was very very minimal blood so my dad, myself, and my brother-in-law started walking the grid. I decided to walk toward the bushes I had last heard the buck in. Not five minutes after walking toward the bushes....I found the buck. He was piled up and looked as if he was running and then collapsed over dead. My arrow was sticking through the other side with about 6in of fletching still in his side. While cleaning him out I discovered that the arrow took off the aorta right at the top of the heart. I couldn't have asked for a better shot. I was totally surprised that he lasted as long as he had.

I've never harvested anything while hunting with my dad and was so glad that he was there from start to finish. Not the biggest buck in the world but a "goodun" and it has a special meaning sharing it with Dad.
Enjoy the pics and happy hunting!

time is flying

I am behind again on blogging, mostly because we have been so, so busy. July, August and September have been crazy and now October is FINALLY here! We are anxiously awaiting our baby to be born. I am 38 weeks today and ready to have my baby here and my body back to myself. The kids are really looking forward to him coming too. Just today, I recorded Emma hollering at my belly, "Come out, baby! I wuv you baby. I told you to come out!" If I can figure out how to get it from my phone to the computer, I will.

Our quick recap:

July - we went to Mt. Rushmore and then did a quick turn around to Jackson Hole. Busy, busy two weeks. When we got home, we found out we were going to get the house across the street and be able to move by about the first week of August. So...

August -  we pack and move a whole 200 ft. Which I think may be harder then moving far. Everything was stuff and fluff and we still haven't recovered. The basement of our house is unfinished and functioning as a ginormous storage unit. The end of August brings some pre-term labor for me. I am in and out of the hospital, getting betamethisone shots and getting really freaked out by tests that say I could have the baby any time. The test, it turns out, is not very accurate and turned out to be a false positive as I am still pregnant. That sure was fun.

Noah started a preschool program two days a week and I am already seeing the difference in him. He loves to learn and is learning to write all his letters. He can already write his name, Emma's name and the baby's name, which may or may not stick.

Emma started tap and ballet lessons. It was a rough first month and she wasn't sure she wanted to do it, but now she is loving every minute of it. She gets a very proud smile on her face when asked to do first and second position and is glad to perform.

September brought the hunting season in full swing and Luke spends his time hiking all over tarnation. No success yet. I am sure he will post his stories once he has them.

I had another bit of a scare with the baby being breech and possibly being to large to flip on his own. My doctor was preparing to do either a Version (flipping the baby manually, OUCH!) or preparing for a c-section. However, our good little boy has flipped, and everything is great! I remember waking up in the middle of the night thinking I was having the baby right then because the pain and pressure was pretty intense. I am so glad that things turned out the way they did and I didn't have to try the version. It was painful enough to have the baby flip on his own, I can't even imagine someone pushing on him from the outside to try to make him turn.

I am back at the doctor on Friday to see how things are progressing. I am feeling as large as a house and very, very clumsy. Definitely not graceful. About 3 weeks ago, the doctor was guessing the baby was about 7 lbs. If this guy is large, I am hoping his head is at least in proportion. Noah's head was, AND IS, big and that was some hard pushing.

I am just working, slowly working, at getting the house ready and put together before baby arrives. Waiting for life to slow down a bit and I am afraid it won't. After the baby comes, it is Emma's 3rd birthday and the holidays will be here! Time sure is flying. Can't wait to see what it will bring!

I am sure our next post will be of our new little guy. Thanks for stopping by!!