Reminiscing

I wish I had the courage to say all the things I have wanted to say over the years. There have been so many missed moments in my life when I should have said something, but didn't and maybe things would have turned out differently.

Tonight, as I was wandering on facebook, I came across a name I remembered and a face I did not. I pulled out the yearbooks, which everyone knows turns into too much time spent reminiscing. But this reminising made me sad. Sad for the friendships and relationships that 10+ years has worn. As a very small gesture, I would like to thank that amazing group of friends. Hopefully you know who you are and maybe keep tabs on me and maybe secretly blog stalk me. You know who you are.

I can't begin to describe the lost, small soul I was after my dad died in 1995, just before my high school years. Shortly thereafter, my Grandma died and my brother was in a life altering car accident. There was an indescribable hole in my life that I filled with amazing people. It was a time that could have gone terribly wrong, but I chose to fill it with the best people I could find. I don't believe I have ever told them how important our relationships were to me in a time where my life otherwise was very sad. I have huge, major holes in my memory (everyone in my family does) of that time and I have lost some things. But I remember friends who sat up with me all night, friends who let me say nothing, and that was enough. Friends who let me sleep over, just cause. Friends who would let me come to their houses and have all night dance parties, play, be silly,, laugh til we peed and help me forget.

I miss these friends. I miss being in their lives and I so deeply regret not staying closer to them. I feel so awkward, as time has passed, but want them to know how much they have meant to me. They helped shape me, put me back together and I don't think any of them realize it. Because I did not tell them. So, if you get a random thank you card from me, please open it, and write back.

To my friends... I love you. I miss you. Hope to see you again.

I journaled by hand last night and it is amazing how badly my hand hurt after 15 minutes! Probably not even that long! I have completed all my point for my wellness challenge today except for exercising. I haven't missed a day yet this week but I just can't do it today. My head is pounding. Noah and Emma have been sort of sick all week and yesterday morning Noah's cough was too barky for my liking.

This morning, we took Noah to the doctor only to find that he has croupe, again. Bummer, especially because he was supposed to go camping with Luke and Steve at 'Fathers and Sons.' Poor little Noah has been looking forward to this (to the best of his understanding) for 2 weeks. Everytime we put anything in our little tent trailer to get it geared up he says, "I go camping!" And then we do a roll call of who is going. Well, for now, he thinks his daddy went to help Granpda with something and won't be back until tomorrow. And Luke has decided that he and Noah will go camping in the backyard tomorrow night after they get home.

Short story long, I am home with two sick kids and a whopper headache. They are taking kids climbing on me, fighting over me, and needing hugs. Not my ideal Friday night, but it goes with the territory of being a mommy, I guess. I love my kids, just don't love it when they fight over me. It makes life hard 'cause I am usually the one that gets hurt... gets my hair pulled or my eye gauged.

Next week it is my goal to seriously tackle the basement and my bedroom. They are totally out of control! I have so much organizing to do that I have tried to do ever since we moved in and haven't been able to. So that is my goal for next week. I am so excited because I know I will accomplish it and I know it will look great! Yay for a clean house!!

My Grandpa Ervin

My Grandpa turned 80 on March 24 (he shares a b-day with Lukey). We got together as a family in April and celebrated his life. It was so great to have the family together. It has been a long time since this many people were in the same room! I was in charge of snapping some pictures of everybody with Grandpa, but I don't think there is enough space left on the internet to share them all. So just me is what you get.

My Grandpa was born in 1930 in his family home in Evanston, Wyo. He was hit by a car at a young age and was kept out of school for a couple years to heal. In 1951, he graduated from high school and married my Grandma I think about 5 minutes later. And for being so young and married almost 60 years, you will never meet a couple so lovey-dovey in smoochy goochy love. It is seriously kind of funny sometimes.

My Granpda and Grandma had six children, my dad being the second oldest. My Granpda worked for Kennecott and found odd jobs when he got laid off to make ends meet and raise six kids. He and my Grandma used to take all of their grandchildren camping in the Uintahs every summer. Some of the best memories of my childhood are camping with my Granpda. He loves to sing, although most of his songs are made up. He loves to hunt, although his hunting days are now done. He loves his family, and that means the most.

Happy (late) Birthday Grandpa!

Day 2

I am really grateful for this challenge to journal everyday because it is going to give me the opportunity to catch up on some much needed blogging. There will be several posts with pictures coming, as I haven't posted much lately.

I just love these three pictures of my little lady. The first, Emma hugging our dog Copper, while in the dog bed with Sahara, too. Emma is a puppy, no doubt. She eats with the dogs when they eat dog food and we often find her splashing in the toilet, an endearing trick, I am sure she learned from Sahara. I am just so grateful she hasn't picked up Sahara's licking habit. If you know Sahara, you know what I mean and are probably secretly annoyed right now thinking of the last time she 'drive-by' licked you.

Emma is just so funny. The girl has loads of personality. Loads! And loads of hair, as evidenced by the next two pictures. We went out to the farm a little while ago and Emma won the best bedhead contest every morning. It was hilarious.

So to quickly chronicle the second day of my challenge. I have to admit... I was so sore all day today. My workout yesterday worked muscles that I haven't worked in a long time. So I was a little scared to work out today, but I just got done and I feel so much better! I think I stretched all those sore muscles and I'm feeling good. I probably won't be able to move tomorrow morning ;). I haven't missed sweets, yet, but I do miss the soda. I'm sure that will pass. My personal goal this week is to be in bed at 10:30; I must sign off. Until next time!

Wellness Challenge

Today I start a Wellness Challenge. Thanks to my friend, Jenni, for posting it on her blog. I am so excited and so nervous. It is going to be life changing! Literally, I have to change so much in my day to day life. Which pretty much means that I am not eating like I am supposed to! Ooops.

One of the major reasons I chose this particular challenge, though, is that it incorporates spiritual and mental well being in addition to physical well being. I will be reading 15 minutes of scriptures/uplifting material a day and writing in a journal. Plus a weekly personal goal to be met each day. What should it be for the first week and subsequent weeks? Any suggestions?

Nutrionally and physically is going to be the most demanding, I think. 45 minutes of exercise, no soda and no treates are the major changes for me. Holy smokes. If you have seen me lately, in three months I will be changed person! Go me. Thanks for reading, as this is my journal entry for the day and the only journal I keep, so I will be updating. A lot.